I was doing fine today, only had about 400 calories & was going to stop until my friends made plans for us. I can't say no, & it would be all too obvious for me to say no. So I went out to dinner. And I feel dirty.
I want to be pure, & empty. I want thin legs & arms. I want to see the edges of bones. I want it so much I tear up when I think about it, my heart is tugged at.
On a lighter note, I was out this night & started acting completely delusional (while sober) because I hadn't eaten enough. I thought it was fairly funny at the time, but I know I embarrassed myself. I don't care too much though.
The other night a similar thing happened. When I was out to eat with my family, I had seafood in my dish & I detest seafood in all shapes & forms. & for some reason I just started talking to myself frantically about it as I picked it all out. I didn't even really realize I was doing it until my sister & mother yelled at me to stop.
hi, i'm insane.
1 comments:
haha noo way i'm following a psycho's blog!!! xD
I know you'll lose the weight from the meal with your friends..
Take care dear
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